Love

Love is confusing.

Yes I love someone but do I want to be with that someone? I don't know...

Then again this is the least of my worries right now.

Spring Semester 2010 Classes

Theory 2

Ear Training and Sight Singing 2

Strings Tech

Percussion Tech

Classroom Instruments

Growth and Development

Symphonic Band

Applied Flute (Level 2)

Intro to Psychology

Flute Choir

yep... 10 classes.. haha.. no free time for me

Oh and I want to pledge for the co ed music frat.

Goodbye social life.

Nah.. i'll figure it out. I always do.

New chapter

College

A new chapter in my crazy life.

Maybe I should just take this opportunity to move on and start new... yet there is something holding me back.

I thought I could move on but I love him so much.

Oh goddess what do I do?

Who am I suppose to be with? Please give me a sign... something...

Important Events:

Here are some important events coming up:

August 15th: Vacation at Six Flags in Kentucky!!!

August 28th: move in day at Radford!!!

August 31st: classes start at Radford!!!

I can't wait!!!

Music of the Night

One of my all time favorite songs from the Phantom of the Opera. =]

Night-time sharpens,
heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs and wakes imagination
Silently the senses abandon their defences ...

Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendour
Grasp it, sense it - tremulous and tender
Turn your face away
from the garish light of day,
turn your thoughts away
from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to the music of the night ...

Close your eyes and surrender to your
darkest dreams!
Purge your thoughts of the life
you knew before!
Close your eyes,
let your spirit start to soar!
And you'll live
as you've never lived before ...

Softly, deftly,
music shall surround you ...
Feel it, hear it,
closing in around you ...
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness which
you know you cannot fight -
the darkness of the music of the night ...

Let your mind start a journey
through a strange new world!
Leave all thoughts
of the world you knew before!
Let your soul take you where you
long to be !
Only then can you belong to me ...

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of the music of the night ...

You alone can make my song take flight -
help me make the music of the night . . .

charm bracelet

I need more charms for my charm bracelet...

so far I have a purse, ballet shoes, moon, and a flute.

I wanted to get more but everywhere I go they want $15 for a charm... so as of now the search continues...

if you see any that may be of interest to me just let me know.

much thanks

Broadway

Today I saw the Phantom of the Opera and I must say it was absolutely amazing!

I would recommend everyone go see it at least once in their life.

As of today I have seen the following broadway shows:

1. Beauty and the Beast

2. The Phantom of the Opera

and I'm seeing Mary Poppins on Sunday

Will post a longer post later when my head doesn't hurt so much. =[

Friends - old and new

Some of my current friends include: (In no order)

*Jessica Ashley*

*Naomi Webster*

*Rebecca Chitwood*

*Craig Sales*

*Jesse Jefferson*

*Sarah Gillaspy*

*Zach Amos*

*Daniel Miller*

*Josh Nardone*

*Nick Montgomery*

*Billy Masters*

*Cory Johnson*

*Tracie Arrington*

*Daniel Mandy*

*Johnathon Harrison*

*Jonathan Pendleton*

---> I know that these people will always love and care about me no matter what happens in life. That they will always be there for me when I need them the most... even if we are mad at each other about something.

--->I know that I haven't talked to a couple of these people in a while and I feel bad for it... but then again I don't because they can contact me just as easily (it's not like I try to hide). I know I have changed but I don't want to lose these people... no matter what happens in my/their life.

---> I miss my friends... a lot

---> Please try and keep in touch. I love you all!

how sad...

I never thought I would be saying this... ever

but here it goes...

I want to go home

... there I said it

A good decision for once.

It will all be over soon. Come this Fall I will start over... no more...

This is my final answer...

Oh and please don't you dare ask what this means... ever.

looking forward to Friday

My family comes to see me Friday. [Even though there will only be 11 of us total that is still a lot.]

Graduation is Saturday the 13th!

No more high school... ever!

What I need to do...

1. watch 9 tv shows for govt. (due June 4th)
   
2. finish service projects (due June 4th)
   
3. write paper for calculus (due May 22nd)
   
4. write paper for govt. (due June 4th)
   
5. work on band scrapbook (due May 26th)
   

12 more days of school left

the pressure is on

Schedule:

I have a lot to catch up on. I'm sorry but I won't be able to hang out unless I'm working on homework. I'm so far behind and now I need to play catch up... and fast!!!

Thursday- School. Study session with Craig and Matt at the library. Work on physics and calculus homework.
Friday- School. Print out forms for govt. and pictures for the scrapbook. Watch at least one show for govt.
Saturday- Work on homework. Brainstorm ideas for the scrapbook. Watch one govt. show.
Sunday- Ap prep session. Go home and work on homework. [finish all homework from ch. 7 & 8]
Monday- jazz band. begin working on ch. 9 homework. study for calculus exam.
Tuesday- watch one govt. show. work on physics and scrapbook. homework. SLEEP!!!
Wednesday- Ap calculus exam. flute lessons. go home and work on homework. [finish homework]
Thursday- Watch govt. shows. Work on scrapbook.


9 govt. shows to watch.
5 service projects -- hopefully only 2 left to do. <-- I need to ask.
Physics homework to work on.
Band scrapbook.

letters

Dear weather,

Make up your freakin mind would you!

love,
everyone

*****************************************************************

Dear Mother Earth,

Please help weather make the right decisions and choose the right path.

love your daughter,
Megan

I like to jump on people.

Today was pretty rad.
1. I answered the first problem out of six on the free response section in its entirety on the practice ap exam. [I only skipped 7 parts out of the 24 total]
2. I said the right equations in physics.
3. I ate some stuffed peppers for lunch!
4. I feel asleep during West Wing. [I was in almost deep sleep too... lol!]
5. I had people to talk to on my way to 4th period which is rare. [thanks Billy and Jason]
6. I got to walk in the walk a thon with Jessica and Tracie while listening to my ipod.
7. I got to jump on Billy. XD That made my day... lol!
8. I went to wal mart with Jessica and Tracie after school.
9. I took Jessica home and they had no power so we played our flutes.
10.... well thats about it... I came home and here I am... blargh!

Tomorrow should be better though. I'm trying to see if I can find a way to go see Annie and go see Craig but I don't know exactly how I'm going to do so. Plus I would like to walk some more and work on the laundry.

Oh and the sad part is that my mom probably won't be home until next weekend so yeah... no out of school date to prom, indoor graduation tickets, or happiness for me.

She really needs to win the lottery.


Now I have to change plans... fun stuff man. Its probably for the better though so yeah. XD

start over

So I think I just want to start over in life.

Move away. Make new friends. Keep some old friends. Become more outgoing. Not be so fearful or nervous. Not have to worry about a relationship.

That life sounds peaceful.

I don't feel the love for anyone like I thought I once did. I don't feel "love". I don't love anyone. I just like to have fun and fun is what I'll have.

So... where and when do I start?

Ostara

(In a nutshell)
Today was wonderful.
My boyfriend and Jesse came over.
We (them, myself, and my siblings) all played outside and then went to the park.
Then we ate dinner.
After dinner and cleaning up we played Balderdash.
Soon after that Jesse went home.
Once we finished playing my boyfriend and I had ice cream sandwiches.
We then watched the end of the amazing race.
My boyfriend left after that.

Spring Break - schedule (will be updated)

Saturday: Mall. Haircut. Hang out with Brendan.

Sunday: Easter. Must stay home. Homework. Let the colleges that I'm not going to go to know.

Monday: Piano lessons. Relax.

Tuesday: Watch government shows. Work on scrapbook design. Clean house. Homework.

Wednesday: Work on scrapbook design. Homework.

Thursday: Ap prep session. Homework.

Friday: Hang out with Jessica!

Saturday: Work on scrapbook

Sunday: Ap prep session

Some things will never change.

The way I feel for you isn't the same as it once was.
It hurt when you wouldn't talk to me.
I thought you hated me.
Everything is better now.
Things are going to be better this time.
We will hang out more and not make stupid decisions. (not like we did to begin with)
I need you in my life.
You are one of my best friends.
I love you.
You love me... well you used to at least.
Everything is going to be alright now.
Don't hurt anyone though... this is my problem.... just turn around and walk away.


I'm just glad that today I was able to see you smile again when you looked at me.
I'm glad that you gave me a hug the way you always did.

Now all I can remember you saying is.... "Some things will never change."

That is life for you.
I love you always in some way.
Just say you will always be my friend and I will be satisfied.
Thank you for talking to me again.
You made my day.

stress...

gives me massive headaches...

thank you homework and school and life and people and lies and other misfortunes.



I miss being able to live a care free life... *tears*



I need a hug and want to be loved.

College update

I am going to Radford University.
I am majoring in music education. flute <3
I am going to live on campus... can't decide between the honor building or the fine arts building.
I am going to find enough money to go.
I am getting a laptop for graduation.
I am going to become more outgoing.
I am going to change.
I am going to move on from this boring life of mine.
I am going to start over... when it comes to certain things.
I am ready for what is to come.
I am going to dance and party... without the drinking... yeah... no thanks.
I am going to make new friends.
I am going to become a better flute player.
I am going to keep my best friends.
I am going to like new people... that is just how life works.
I am going to have to make new decisions.
I am going to keep my unique style.
I am going to do well.
I am ready for what is to come.

Lets go!

--> Out with the old, in with the new <--
--> 4 to 5 months left before it all begins! <--

attack!

I would attack that. hehe.<3

Homework

There is too much...
between calculus (minor) and physics (major)...

I'm drowning in it.


Teachers really need to learn that some of us have these others things that we like to call "social lives". Some will never understand though.

I give up.


---THE END---

Sleep...

I need more of it...


--> End of story <--

home

I hate being home. I absolutely hate it!

I can't wait until I'm finally away from this stupid place... forever!

Yesterday

Yesterday was awesome!

The day started at 3 am --> that part sucked <--
Brendan picked me up at 4 and took me to wal mart and then sheetz and then to the y where I was dropped off with Craig, Craig's dad, and Ryan.
The ride down there took forever since we were all tired and whatnot. I ended up falling asleep even though I had planned on staying awake.
Once we finally arrived at the gymtorium [which was weird since I had never been to one] I felt like I was going to get sick... but I didn't so all was good. [As it turns out all I needed was to eat something then I was back to normal]
After we left and came back it was about another hour before the tournament started. Then once it did it was about another hour before anybody I knew went to compete.
I was amazed that I actually knew what was going on. [I guess it did help knowing some judo stuff and whatnot.]
The tournament finally ended at around 4 and all of the FC judo peoplez came home with trophies! [I know I left out a lot of information but I don't really feel like going into major details but I will say that there was a blind guy who competed and he was awesome!]
On the way home we decided to stop in Danville to get some grub. It was my idea to eat at the mall so to the mall we went.
After getting our food, acting crazy in the stores, using our 'elevator powers', and taking pics in the sketch booth, the three of us (me, Craig, and Ryan) crammed into the backseat for the long ride home. [it didn't seem long though since we had fun and were acting crazy]
I finally got home at around 10 pm and went straight to bed when I did. lol!
--> What a fun day it was! <--

sleepy day

*yawn*

I have been so tired today... I'm actually having a hard time staying awake during school and trying to do my work and whatnot. I don't know what is wrong with me either. All I want to do is stay up all night and sleep all day. Maybe it has something to do with the current time change. Maybe that is why I can't seem to do what I usually did... or maybe its just a lack of sugar. hehe!

Now if Jessica was in all of my classes I wouldn't have this problem... I would have the "never shutting up" problem instead. It would be worth it though.

So yeah... that is all for now. Everything else on my mind is there and then its gone.

I need sleep.

needs to believe

Everything happens for a reason.

I believe this. Therefore this is suppose to happen. My heart has choose this path. I'm still confused by it though. Nobody quiet understands it though. I wish for answers that I can't receive.

It's making me feel like a horrible person.

I'm sorry. I don't hate you. It's really just me... I don't understand myself anymore.

How sad is that?

Long weekend

Thanks to snow I had a long weekend so which I'm very thankful for....

because all I did was...

1. Listen to music
2. attempt to work on my homework
3. play in the snow
4. talk to someone that means the world to me
5. spend some quality time with the family
6. read a book
7. have random conversations on facebook

... yeah. Life is pretty good right now.

School (as of 2-24-09)

School really sucks. (brief summary)

1st period: AP Calculus
-- work.. work...work... then lots of homework (repeat). Not to mention that I don't even understand what we are doing in the class and we have an ap prep session this Saturday. Oh what fun... not!

2nd period: College Physics
-- I sit in class and watch my teacher dance the horrible physics dance while spitting out equations and writing random numbers and letters down frantically. Yeah.. he is kinda creepy. I have come to learn that the only way to learn and understand is to not listen to a word he says and just read the book. So now I watch him dance and mute all the words. (Kinda like watching a silent movie)

3rd period: College Government
-- My govt teacher is awesome! As much as he is suppose to be unbiased he's not. We just pretend that he is to keep him out of trouble. (Oh and so we don't have to ever do anything other than sit there and listen to him go on and on about something that we have never heard of before.)

4th period: Symphonic band
-- Easiest class ever... oh and I'm first chair flute again. There is nothing better than being first chair. :D


So that is my school life right now. I know its not much but it is getting late and I'm starting to get sleepy. More information will come later.

disappear

Writing my thoughts down makes my worries disappear. Whenever I write something down I feel a big weight being lifted off my shoulders. At least I know that now I have put my thoughts out there and have no secrets to keep inside. (Who cares if nobody will ever read what I have to say or just can't read it because I have kept the papers locked away from everyone. At least I know they are out of my list of worries.)

Now it is time to move pass all my worries. To not worry about who I love or want to be with. To let my feelings be free and not have to worry about keeping any secrets.

It is time to get rid of all the lies and spread the word of truth.

It is time to let the world know how I really feel inside.




--> Too bad I just can't let myself do that <--
*sigh* I love you. I need you. Don't go away.

My life as of now. [Feb. 2009]

I want everything to go away.
I feel wrapped in negative energy that won't let me go.
My friends try to help me escape.
One has almost succeeded.

Yet... I can't seem to accept the offer... yet I want to... but I just can't.



Therefore I will just stick with talking to you on the phone and hiding in your cubby in band class. lol! We're innocent... I think not. lol! (You wouldn't understand)

Why are you so irresistible?

*sigh*

Rosalee Michelle

There is this little girl in my dreams...

She has long brown hair with wavy curls and blue eyes as bright as the sky. Her laughs are magickal and her skin glows in the sunlight. She sits on a rock in a meadow, a place where she knows nobody can harm her. When she is here she is protected by all of the trees and the little creatures that only she can see.
Suddenly she looks around and spots me. I quickly sprint away hoping not to be spotted by her. I then trip on a rock and fall on the ground of which is covered in moss. She looks at me and I cringe ashamed that I fell.

"Silly" she giggled.

Silly... ok... that's all. She ran after me to call me silly. That's not weird at all.

"Mom... you can get up now." she said still laughing at me.

Mom? What is she talking about....... then it hit me. This girl wasn't just some random girl sitting in a meadow. This girl was my daughter. My beautiful daughter. My little Rosalee Michelle.



*to be continued*

stress

I can't do it anymore.

School is taking over my life. I try to run away from it but I can't. I'm just too slow...


I need a vacation! Now!

I hate AP Calculus!