Well I was going to blog about something that was on my mind earlier but now I don't feel the need to... yeah... it's sad... but it's gone.

All of my wasted thoughts... oh well

Maybe I'll write something else later but as of right now I'm out of ideas. I just have lyrics running through my head.

Music is awesome!

changes

Things are starting to change all around me...

and I think I'm finally starting to understand what is going on...

Some of these changes shouldn't be happening...

but they are...
and it's something that I will have to learn to live with...


forever and eternity



**throws her hands in the air and twirls around and around slowly drifting off into a far away place where everything is perfect [at least in her mind]**

Where is this place?
Why can't I find it?


---everything happens for a reason---

why is that?

next week

Next week is one that I'm not going to enjoy...
well actually it's more like the next 8 days starting with the day after xmas. A day that is usually spent enjoying all of my cool new gadgets and gizmos received the day before, but not this year. This year I will be sad. It hurts more knowing that I'm suppose to be there right now, but that didn't happen. 7 years of not spending xmas with my family. 7 years of rotating where to spend xmas eve. 7 years that have not been the same. This is the first year that I'm dreading xmas. I don't even want to see you because I know that will make things worse. I won't be able to let go. I can't let you go. It's too hard... but who cares. Nobody...

I could go on but I don't feel like it at the moment...

I will just sit hear holding the bear that you gave me until the day you return... trying not to cry...

Don't go....
Don't leave me here alone
Is that too hard to ask?
Apparently so...


I miss you... already...